Feeling Gloomy On a Sunny Day

I'm having kind of a hard day today. I see all these amazing mommas gettin' BFP's and finding out genders etc. And although Brian and I are done and we were planning on being done, a little piece of my heart breaks knowing that because of the health issues I'm facing I can't have another baby even of we wanted to. Ill never again face the excitement of a BFP or finding out if its a boy or girl...
I am so beyond thankful that I got to at least have my girl and my boy. I am also very excited for my mommas getting to go through those experiences and I have learned to count my blessings. However there are still days that its just hard.

Just A Quick Hello!

He ya'll, so I have decided to make a Moby tutorial! It should be up tomorrow, we are going to shoot the video in the morning! As for now it is 11:37 pm here in the great state of Colorado and this momma is exhausted! Work has been very busy this past week. So much so that all my days are runnin together! Motivational Monday, Wordless Wednesday and Thought For Friday will all be back next week.

Also if you ever have any questions, comments or suggestions on articles you'd like to see please by all means comment below or feel free to email me!

Night Ya'll

Motivational Monday!

I've been fighting off a sneaking realization for about 6 months now and today is the first day I've been able to admit it, I think I have post partum depression. I had a break down today and have decided to seek help. I don't trust anyone with my kids except me and I feel like I'm not strong enough for them.

My motivation:
In order to become stronger for my babies I have to take care of myself. Please do not judge me.

Thought For Friday.

"I will stop looking back with regrets... Or looking forward with fear... And give the best I have today."
•••This seemed beyond fitting for today. Brian and I are waiting to hear back on the apartment and I'm a bundle of nerves!! I need to accept that at this point it is out of our hands, we've done our part now it's time to sit back and wait it out. Life has been rough this yer and unfortunately it has put me in a negative mind frame. I have to remind myself that we got the car which I never thought would happen and maybe it's time that things are turning around. Things are going to start getting better because we can only go up from here. I used to be so optimistic before my mom got sick and I need to start working on getting back to that. I remind myself that I have a loving supportive husband, two amazing children and food on my plate. I am thankful.

Cancer Outcome

Hey y'all! I just realized that I never updated about my cancer after my surgery!
•••I had to have 45% of my cervix removed and the results were semi clear margins which means they think they got it all but there's still a possibility that it will come back. Both of my pregnancies were high risk and full of bed rest due to preterm labor, so they said that if I were to get pregnant it would end up possibly harming me as well as that baby. Which is ok because Brian and I were done anyways. It's just kind of a shock at 23 to hear "you've survived cancer and are in remission but you can no longer have children." I want to thank my amazing husband, and all of my IG family or loving me through all of this! Please feel free I comment with any questions.

Wordless Wednesday

Motivational Monday!

The good news:
•I am still at 130.4!
The not so good news:
•I have been there for 4 weeks!

I'm glad to know I'm not gaining weight and I am thankful to be down 28 pounds, but I'm still 5 pounds away from my goal. I've always heard the last 5 pounds is the hardest I lose and now I believe it. However I have noticed that I am feeling more comfortable in my body lately! I haven't been this small since probably about my sophomore year of high school and I would say that's an achievement.

My motivation for this week: the holidays are coming up and I know this is going to test my self control so my motivation this week is working hard so I can splurge on thanksgiving!