Eye Of The Beholder

Eye Of The Beholder...

          Hey y'all! My goodness it's been a long time since I've updated. We'll to start, Dustin Andrew Michael Fowler made his grand entrance on August 28, 2014, weighing in at 6lbs 4oz and he was 17.5 inches long. He came very quickly, much quicker then his stubborn brother and sister hahaha. But his birth story is for another post.
          Today I wanted to talk to y'all about beauty, and what it truly means. I personally feel that today's idea of "beauty" is completely flawed, but everyone has their own idea of what beautiful is, and let me tell you, this is something I am still working on. Weather it's in magazines, movies & tv, or social media, ways to improve what or who we are, are blatantly thrown in our face. For example, all these memes going around, and I know y'all have seen them, "when the MAC washes off" or the skinny wraps that everyone and their momma seem to be selling. This is only what tipped me into this entire blog post.
          Step back and think of how many "beauty products" there are for women vs men. Hands down there are more beauty/physical enhancements for women then men. For men you see the usual, shaving stuff, cologne, some hair products and that's about it. Now think for women, shaving, waxing, nails, hair, make up, push up bras to make our boobs bigger, spanx to make our stomachs flatter and our waist smaller, butt lifters to shape our behinds. Not to mention wraps to help tone and tighten (don't fall for it), skin care to make us look younger. And that is only part of the list!
          What happened in history to make women think they need millions of products and this and that to be attractive and how much is too much? Let's say you're a single lady and you go to the bar dressed to the nines, hair done with extensions in, nails done, make up with contouring and brows and false lashes. Not to mention the padded bra, spanx, and buttlifter you're squeezed into like a can of biscuits about to pop. Come on y'all, be realistic, what's gonna happen when you go home with someone down the line that you met that night and all of that has to come off and your look like a completely different person? It's doesn't help that there are a lot of men who complain when a woman doesn't wear make up or do her hair, but then turn around and complain when she has too much make up or extensions etc.
         As a mom myself, I know how it feels to think all of those things are needed especially after having a child. Here I am 4 months post partum with my third kidlette and I am just now starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. But after some asking around I have come to realize that all that extra stuff and most of that stuff doesn't even get noticed. Sure if you feel like it makes you more comfortable then go for it but if you're doing it for your husband or someone else, honey there are bigger problems at hand. The husband and I have had this conversation over and over again and he always tells me that I don't need all that extra stuff, that I am perfect the way I am. Every husband should feel that way.
          My oldest brother and I had a lengthy conversation today regarding this and bottom line? Men don't notice your hair and make up, they notice your confidence and your attitude. The type of men who only notice your physical appearance are not the type you should spend your time on. They are the type that will find what they think is better and move right on. Also because I know y'all are thinkin' it, I am not biased there are women like this too. Superficial people in general are toxic!!
          I'm not saying let yourself go but I'm also not saying to go overboard. All I am is saying is that everyday it should be your goal, male or female, to wake up, get ready and look in the mirror and feel good in the body and shape you were given. Make up or no make up, beard no beard, ya get what I'm sayin'. Don't base yourself around other people's distorted view of beauty, base yourself off what makes your feel beautiful. That is what is attractive to others. All the money spent on hair and make up and shape-wear and skin creams and so on, think of all the other things you could spend that on. My suggestion? A night out to show off your new found confidence! Always remember that in the great words of RuPaul if you don't love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Amen!